I had a couple of recent opportunities to learn about bravery: One in the therapy office and another at the pool in Glenwood Springs.
In the therapy office a 15 year old girl said to me, “I want
to get off of my antidepressant medication.” I naturally asked why. She
naturally answered, “because I don’t think I need it anymore.”
“This is an interesting kid”, I thought.
“Ok”, I said. “Let’s give it a go”. With a doctor in
consultation we cut her med dosage in half and we scheduled to meet in a week. Before
she left we talked about some of the protective measures to help prevent
depression. One of those that we discussed was accomplishing something or
learning something new. This young lady’s initiative to go off of her meds
seems brave to me, and here’s another story about bravery.
My wife and I really enjoy taking our kids to Glenwood
Springs. The drive there from Denver is beautiful and it’s a town with great
history tucked right up against the red cliffs of the Colorado River.
Occasionally when we go I will take the kids swimming in the hot springs pool.
There are actually two pools, a small one which is quite hot and a larger one
designed for swimming and playing that is more temperate. The larger pool has a
diving board. I don’t swim much but I love diving boards, tons of fun. I asked
my wife to watch the kids and I went to jump off the diving board. I did my
jump, which probably hasn’t gotten much prettier than it was when I was 10
years old, I swam underwater for a ways and surfaced by the side of the pool.
As I went to get out I saw an older man talking to a little girl, he was
teaching her how to dive.
Immediately I felt a trigger go off. I think I have dived
once or twice in my life and that was more than 20 years ago. I have always
wanted to dive though and when I heard this man giving instructions I inched
closer to listen.
“Put your hands together above your head and when you jump,
kick your feet up.”
“I could to that.” I thought to myself. “I could dive.” The
very thought scared me.
I climbed out of the water and stood at the water’s edge
with the hairy toes of my non-cute feet curling over the side thinking, “it’s
cute when a six year old does it, what is it when a 33 year old does it? Weird?
Gross?”
As if I wasn’t already feeling a little odd I made it even
worse when I raised my arms above my head in perfect imitation of an
apprehensive 6 year old. Which is exactly how I felt. I almost put my arms back
down when I realized how awkward this must look.
Let me take this opportunity to discuss bravery for a
moment.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the
triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who
conquers that fear.” I fully agree with this quote from Nelson Mandela and have
had many experiences in my life that endorse it.
I thought about that idea as I was standing there at the
pool, my bald forehead glistening in the late afternoon sun, and I jumped. My
brain was a little slow on remembering the “kick up your feet” part but we got
there eventually and I entered in to the water without endangering my internal
organs with a belly flop.
In that moment my day changed a little bit. We were having a
very nice time all day in Glenwood but then I accomplished something that
scared me and that enhanced my day on a whole different dimension.
I know some people who, when asked how they are doing,
answer, “I’m vertical.” Some people are joking, and some people, like a
holocaust survivor I know, are quite serious.
People who struggle with depression are some of those people
who can say, “I’m vertical”, and be truly appreciative of that reality.
So I told my 15 year old client that accomplishing something
would help her with her depression now that she was taking the brave move of
trying life without her meds.
And so I send this message to you, my dear and loyal readers
(loyal because you’ve stayed with me even though I haven’t posted for a minute).
When you are feeling like the spark isn’t there, try something that scares you
a little bit. Accomplish something. Confront a fear. Learn something new. After you've done that, notice where you were before and where you are now, then celebrate it.
If you want more information on taking this step then give
me a call. 303-803-4832
Very best wishes to you my dear readers.
Sincerely,
Ari Hoffman MA, LPC
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